Persuasion Tool #5 – Instant Rapport
Let me ask you this question. Do you know that annoying person that rubs you the wrong way? You know that person that nobody really likes? You know that person that thinks they’re funny, but they’re not? That could be you! I don’t know if you want me to sugarcoat it or not, but this could be true. We need to talk about rapport. How do you get people to instantly like you?
I know it is easy getting along with people that are like you. I’m talking about other types of personalities. Understand that the ability to connect and work well with people tops the list for common skills and habits of highly influential people. Studies show that 91% of people said, “People skills are critical in business.” You already know that success in life depends on your people skills and the ability to build rapport. You know that, but you’re people skills are not as good as you think. Let’s talk about the studies.
First of all, you have a self-perception bias. The studies show that 90% of people rate their people skills above average. If you’ve ever studied statistics, you know that is impossible. I am also guessing you have met enough people to know that there is no way that’s possible. Most people think they know how to create rapport, but they don’t. Studies also show that as much as 85% of your success in life depends on your people skills and the ability to get others to like you. In fact, the Carnegie Institute of Technology found that only 15% of management success is due to technical training or intelligence. The other 85% is due to personality factors or the ability to deal with people successfully. That’s even higher as an entrepreneur and even higher if you’re in sales.
A Harvard study also found that every person who lost their job for failure to do the proper work, two people lost their jobs for failure to deal successfully with people. Meaning two-thirds of people that lost their jobs was because of their inability to work with people. The challenge is they were never told the real reason they lost their job. They were probably told, “Oh, we’re downsizing. Wish you could stay.” I’m thinking that if you were the boss and had to fire a couple of people, everything being equal, you would fire the people you don’t like.
Let’s talk a little application. How do you connect? What are the basics here? These are all things we can all improve.
1. Concern
Usually showing concern means exhibiting genuine friendless and good well for the other person’s best interest. It means acting with consideration and politeness. It is the foundation for all interaction and it creates a mood of concern in return.
2. Optimism
People want to be around those who are positive. Focus on the positive, be optimistic, and this brings hope to your audience. Optimistic messages bring out the best in people and create a positive image about you and your product or service.
3. Names
Remembering names is not a function of memory, it’s a function of listening. One of the quickest ways to form an immediate bond with people is by remembering their names. Try to use your prospect’s name within the first ten seconds of the conversation. Using their name tells your audience that you care and value them as a person. Research also shows that it increases your persuasiveness.
4. Smile.
How much does a smile cost? Don’t get the calculator- It’s free. A smile helps make a great first impression and demonstrates happiness, acceptance, and confidence. Your smile shows that you’re pleased with meeting this person. As a result, your audience becomes more interested in being with you.
5. Respect.
The more your audience respects you, the more persuasive you’ll be. Building respect often takes time, but there are things you can do right now to facilitate it. Remember that how someone feels about you is often influenced by how you make them feel about themselves.
I know these are simple, but I guarantee you can work on each one of these. You can improve in each one of these categories. You can learn to adapt to different personalities. When you can connect with people the doors of influence swing open and people will want to be persuaded by you.